I remember waiting to go to school because I envied my brothers who got attention for their homework.
I remember the close relationship I had with my mom, we went to shows together, we went to dinner, we did many things together.
I remember when I felt betrayed by my mother, that all she wanted was for me to do her bidding and that I really had no personality.
I remember the pool in our backyard and coming home from working in a hot smelly kitchen and jumping into the fresh water.
I remember loving my dad for his sense of humor
I remember hating my dad for his unpredictable behavior.
I remember making my classmates laugh, finding that I had talent for comedy.
I remember being on the good side of authority because I was cute and funny.
I remember being scared of my power and not knowingwhere to turn for support.
I remember writing papers for many of my classmates and being found out by the teacher because the irony and sense of humor throughout was similar.
I remember writing a story about visiting the dentist and saying the fish in the tank had braces and thinking it was the funniest thing I had ever written.
I remember having a girlfriend in highschool and staying with her because I was afraid I would find no other.
I remember reading with this girlfriend the joy of sex and then trying to have sex with ice cubes pinned against our genitalia.
I remember the dogs I’ve had thoughout my life: rusty, spot, Jennifer, muffin, willie, and loving all of them.
I remember my maternal grandmother, who, unknown to us, suffered fromAlzeimer’s and we used to take advantage of her senility.
I remember my fraternal grandmother and how we loved when she would babysit us because she was kind hearted and warm and sweet.
I remember having a tough time in high school and not being able to be vulnerable. And paying for that for the next forty years.
I remember my hand being held in a crowd by a fortune teller and she stopped and said, “who’s hand is this?” and I answered and she proceeded to tell me how special I was and the special things I would do in life.
I remember the gypsy lady saying I would be great.
I remember the delusions of grandeur.
I remember the delusions of lowdeur.
I remember saying goodbye to all those who loved me before I swallowed the pills
I remember staying alive because I had to, because I wanted to, because life is short and it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks; I've got a lifetime to accomplish what I WANT
I remember something, something sweet, something mellow. something that kept me alive
Showing posts with label memory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memory. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
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